5 Deal-Breakers Of Travelling With Your Best Friends, And How To Avoid Them

I once travelled with a friend. My closest friend at the time, actually. And it was the worst decision I ever made. And if I could just go back to the day I made those plans, I’d tell my 18-year-old self to think twice, and think these things through. And here is why.

1. What happens in Europe (or anywhere you go), doesn’t stay there.

Now I’m not saying that this always happens, but what I (amongst others) have encountered is that everything you once swore to keep a secret, it comes out. It might just be that it’s a funny story to tell, or that it’s a situation you wouldn’t dare put yourself in, but the truth always comes out, and the things you do come back to haunt you, one way or another.

The fix: Establish boundaries with the people you’re travelling with. Agree on a set of rules the lot of you will stick to, one being to only tell your stories. You can avoid so much drama and so many rumours if you just worry less about what others do and focus on telling your stories, your way. You’ll be surprised at just how much doing this can save and strengthen a friendship.

2. It clouds the way you experience the world, if you let it.

If you want to travel with friends, do it. But if you want to experience the world and do the things you love doing and see the things you love to see… do it alone, I say, and do it your way. Otherwise, you’ll end up settling on plans and things to do, just to avoid arguing with your friends. You’ll end up missing out on the things you want to do and you’ll end up like me, sitting in bed writing articles on reasons not to travel with friends, wishing you’d just gone off and done your own thing rather than waste days and money doing things you didn’t want to.

The fix: Have your own itinerary on hand. See what you and your friends are all wanting to do, and do them, but set aside the days to tick off your bucket list, rather than agreeing to do something just because you’re scared of being alone or unsafe or don’t want to cause conflict over what to do. In the end, your friends can either follow you and do what you are, or simply not complain about your decisions.

3. One’s financial struggles and mistakes become your financial struggles and mistakes, too.

Now this is something we all need to be educated in, and something that I 

wish I knew about when I was planning my trip. Money causes conflict. Generally speaking, you’re probably thinking ‘money won’t be my problem, we’ll just split everything and pay equally’. But honey, that’s not how it works.

Pretty soon you’ll find yourself at hostels that won’t split bills and then you’ll say ‘it’s fine you just owe me this much’, until the next day when your friend says ‘I don’t owe you that much, I owe you this much’ and then to save yet another argument you let it slide because it’s only two euros, right?

Wrong. Those mistakes add up. Eventually you’ll find yourself short on money because you didn’t think smart enough to avoid such situations, and then you’ll find yourself on an overnight train to Paris because you put your friend in charge of transport, which, surprise surprise, ended in a lost hotel (yes, hotel) reservation and 200 euros less in your bank account, and you can’t say or do anything about the 40 euro ticket you should’ve bought months ago because that will only cause conflict you just cannot be bothered dealing with right now.

The fix: Please, please, PLEASE put yourself in charge of your own finances. Why should you miss out on that amazing deal you found just because your friends said it was too early to book? Why should you lose hundreds of dollars because you waited for your friends to agree on the perfect hostel to book or trips to take? In the end you’ll only have yourself to blame because you messed up by putting your budget in someone else’s hands, which brings me to my next point.

4. You need to be selfless, the one time it’s okay to be selfish.

I know all about this. I know all about doing things for my last travel companion, rather than myself, and missing out on opportunities to meet new people and do the things I want to do, just because my friend didn’t want to and selfless me didn’t want her to be alone. The reason this is a deal-breaker is because, while you may not realise at the time, being selfless will leave you resenting yourself and your friends at the end of a trip because you didn’t do you, when you should have.

The fix: Be selfish. This is your trip and the memories you make will live on forever in your mind. Do what you want to do because you don’t know when you’ll get the opportunity to again, and yes, I’m saying YOLO. And if your friends have a problem with that, well....

I mean, why should you have your perfect princess day in Paris ruined, just because your friend left their phone in their very easily-accessible pocket and had it stolen on the train? Why should you have to follow them retrace their steps and spend the day in a bad mood because they decided to take theirs out on you? You shouldn’t. And that’s when I realised that I should have been selfish that day, and done the things I still haven’t done.

So if you wanted the truth, there it is. If your friends were being selfless the same as you, they wouldn’t have let you change your plans to accommodate their needs, whether that be emotional, physical or financial.

5. It ends friendships.

Combine different personalities, budgets and morals and what do you get? The end of a friendship. I know that’s what I got. The thing that you need to remember is not all friendships are as secure as the B and S (#GGforever) relationship, and sometimes you’re better off not sharing everything with your friends.

The fix: I have no fix for this, just advice. Travel on your own! Make mistakes and learn from them. Talk to strangers and start lifelong friendships. Stalk Gossip Girl’s Paris episodes on your own (like I did), and you’ll find other fans doing the exact same thing. Take pictures for tourists, and have them do the same for you. Make spontaneous decisions and see where you find yourself. And lastly (most importantly), do it alone and you’ll find your full attention on you, and if you’re lucky, you’ll find yourself in a way you never thought you could.